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Sunday, September 7, 2025

Ten Randos You'd Meet in the Wilds of Marlinko Canton


Can't stop, won't stop. More NPC free-association. Undoubtedly to be recycled soon in a product near you. 

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Name

Description

1

Vyshemir the Bark-Cloaked

A grim-faced exile draped in stitched birch bark and vole pelts. Survives off fermented lichens and bone tea. Claims to remember the forest before it grew. Might be centuries old.

2

Klara Vrzalová, Witch of the Third Tree

Laughs like falling pinecones. Lives in a mossy stone chair by a grove of silver-furred trees. Will trade charms, potions, or secrets for awkward personal confessions.

3

Pan Drogomil of the Hollow Helm

Rusted-out Nemec reiter touring the old border forts. Helmet permanently fused shut; speaks only through taps and groans. 

4

Ján “the Dung-Sifter”

Lives atop a stilt-hut over a reeking bog. Tracks monsters by analyzing droppings. Cheerful and disgusting. Offers insightful monster lore with accompanying samples.

5

The Mulberry Sisters

Three masked women in embroidered shawls who travel the forest paths in quiet song. Offer aid, murder ballads, or hexes depending on your bearing. Possibly nymph spirits. Possibly just bored old spinsters.

6

Hrabal the Cucked

Feral poet and part-time bandit with antlers tied to his brow. Recites dream-epics at knife point. Carries a scroll of prophecy he claims he found in a bear’s stomach.

7

Granda Gura

Elderly shepherdess with 33 goats and a dog named Politics. The goats speak in unison when the moons align. Gura pretends she doesn’t notice.

8

Zali the Wind-Catcher

Thin and sunburnt woman who communes with the wind spirits atop the bluffs. Can forecast weather or deliver messages on the breeze. Might be possessed. Might like it that way.

9

Blazh the Deeply Untethered

Semi-nude mystic who floats six inches off the ground. Travels in unpredictable zig-zags. Occasionally offers cryptic advice in verse, then vomits blue flaming bile.

10

Toma and his Two-Headed Boar

Wandering swineherd with a cursed, intelligent two-headed boar named Clever-Crass. Claims to be tracking the "Invisible Hogs of the Latter State Hyperborean Age." The boar will correct his grammar.

Thursday, September 4, 2025

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

The Ten People You Would Meet in a Hill Cantons Prison



 Hello remember me, people? 

Insert the usual round of excuses about life, work, the difficulties of this period, etc. But hey I am writing again and finished writing up Revoca's Great Aviary--you know six years later--and in typical neuro-diverse way three other adventure sites that I have been running the family unit through (oh yes weekly Hill Cantons game has been a joy again). 

But hey just for chuckles here is a snippet of new content. 

10 NPCs Found in a Hill Cantons Prison


Name

Description

1

Hort Kvášek, Also Known as the Blood-Pigeon

Former contrada mocker turned prison fixer. Smuggles messages via trained hissing roaches. Speaks only in rhyming prison slang and never explains it.

2

Lazlo of the Scabrous Tongue

Mountebank sentenced for impersonating an archpriest in a municipally unsanctioned long con. Claims he was mostly accurate. Offers unsolicited life advice and fake blessings.

3

Velmira of the Burning Fan

Political prisoner and leader of the banned Society of the Resplendent Breeze. Composes inflammatory poetry using lice ink and parchment made from fingernails. Charismatic and deadly serious.

4

Brother Hromek

Feral ex-monk of a Sunlord brotherhood imprisoned for illegal thaumaturgical animal baptisms. Whispers theological riddles in his sleep. Attracts rats.

5

Tereza "the Window"

Obsessed with escape. Has not succeeded, but has memorized every stone, guard schedule, and dream-port in the wing. Claims her nose can smell “structural weaknesses.”

6

Zeno of the Twelve Names

Believes he’s been 12 different people throughout his sentence. Each day, he is someone new—today, a minor fey noble; tomorrow, a retired sausage inspector. Surprisingly consistent combat skills.

7

Gül the Scarred

Stoic mercenary sentenced for refusing to pay a ransom fee. Keeps to himself unless offered a game of knucklebones or a decent philosophical debate. Covered in ceremonial dueling scars.

8

The Bogtrotter

Mysterious figure from the marshlands. Wears a mask made of stitched cattails and claims to be unjustly imprisoned for “swamp-related matters.” Might be a literal swamp spirit.

9

Old Jarka

Elderly matron jailed for punching a visiting satrap in the groin during a harvest parade. Claims to have no regrets. Fiercely respected among inmates and the prison kitchen staff.

10

Urosh the Complainer

Chronic kvetch and long-term inmate. No one remembers what he was originally jailed for. May in fact be the prison’s soul-bound spirit or simply very annoying. Hums obscure protest songs.