Ten Friggin Hill Cantons Wizards

 

10 Wizards of the Hill Cantons

#	Name	Description
1	Magister Dobromil the Cauterizer	Specializes in magical “cleaning” of reality leaks. Wears four layers of waxed robes and insists all visitors wash their souls before entry. The air around him crackles with sterilized regret.
2	Varja of the Missing Spine	Lithe, flexible, and disturbingly serpentine. Her spinal column was traded for divinatory power. She reads the future in spilled tea, broken shoes, or bird-vomit.
3	Old Master Šefl	Once ruled a petty hilltop canton via owl-based spellcraft. Now mostly senile, though still accidentally casts spells when startled. Keeps an entire aviary of sarcastic owls.
4	Ezvérin the Theoretical	Has never cast a spell in his life. Holds seven academic posts, all self-declared. Writes constantly about imaginary schools of magic. May be the most dangerous man alive if proven right.
5	Alzběta the Rinderpest	Her spells all involve contagion, rot, and beautiful skin. Always impeccably dressed and smells like roses and fever. Keeps a cadre of plague-dabblers on retainer.
6	Seňor Kuzma of the Whispering Socket	Wears a massive bronze headpiece over a cursed third ear that receives whispers from unknown planes. Claims his left kneecap is a portal seal. Accepts payment only in antique teeth.
7	Jarka the Inverted	Lives upside-down in a gravity-shifted dome. All her spells are reversals. Speaks backwards when angry. Collects regrets in glass jars.
8	Doctor Radislav Prst	Medical thaumaturge and reluctant necromancer. Believes in “ethically recycled souls.” Offers reanimation for emotional closure.
9	Petty Thaumaturge Sima the Keen	Specializes in extremely minor magics: reheating tea, untangling strings, smoothing mustaches. Surprisingly powerful due to sheer obsessive mastery. Runs a competitive spell-dueling league for petty magicians.
10	Thrice-Woven Halyna	Exists simultaneously in three separate locations at once, usually misaligned. May respond to questions you haven’t asked yet. Appears cloaked in shimmering, shifting timelines. Collects forgotten birthdays and misplaced intentions.

Ten Marlinko Townies To Annoy Your Party With

#	Name	Description
1	Mother Feketa	Mummified, animate matriarch who rules her tenement block from a tub of heated mud. Gives quests in exchange for gossip and scented soaps.
2	Pan Jaroslav the Blue	A melancholic duelist who fights only on Tuesdays. Claims to be 132 years old. Lives in a roofless manse.
3	Radu of the Clock-Spine	Hunchbacked watchmaker with a literal mechanical spine. Can rewind time 3 seconds—but only once a week.
4	Cousin Ondrej the Not Shark	Local loudmouth and self-proclaimed revolutionary. Knows every secret, none of them true. Smells like fish.
5	Auntie Lujza	Retired god-botherer. Still receives faint signals from long-dead deities. Collects divine offal.
6	Velko "the Slightly Transparent"	Permanently half-phased into the ether. Mostly helpful, sometimes screams with voices not his own.
7	Tatka and Patka	Siamese-twin tax assessors. One is lawful evil, the other deeply chaotic good.
8	Father Svoboda	Defrocked priest of the Sun Lord. Drinks heavily. Carries sacred honey cakes.
9	Anka the Sighing Widow	All five of her husbands died in tragic, yet somehow hilarious ways. Her tears summon minor spirits of pathos.
10	Bohumil the Devourer	Town bureaucrat with a vast appetite for paperwork. Secretly a minor demon of municipal efficiency.