I have been intending to do a dramatic restructuring of all of my current campaigns since the dawn of this new year. Swayed by the allure of for-profit gaming models--with all their savvy ways of injecting the almighty invisible hand and multi-level marketing back into our shoddily amateur hobby--I am instituting by February 1 the following tiered pay-to-play system for players in my games:
| Member Level | Donation | What You Get |
| Copper | FREE | Nothing, except my scorn...well, that and half your current hit points! |
| Silver | $50 | Re-roll three attributes of your choice—with nine dice! Rename a monster. |
| Electrum | $100 | Two levels in a class of your choice and you get to cheat on all dice in one session—and get away with it! |
| Gold | $500 | Three free random rolls on the Misc magic items chart, gain three levels, and kill an important, setting-pivotal NPC of your choice! |
| Platinum | $1000 | The Hand of Vecna (pick its powers), gain five levels, and receive a free T-shirt bearing the motto “Feminist Chicks Dig Me!” |
Membership payment will be accepted in Paypal, Mastercard, cowrie shells, or human chattel form. The lines are open, act now.
Do you have any alternatives to the “Feminist Chicks Dig Me!” shirt? I've already got one of those.
ReplyDeleteHow about one with a landsknecht-garbed New Hampshire Elf with the logo "Live Weird or Die"?
DeleteMaybe 5e will use this business model. Point buy chargen will really be point buy - 2.99 per point.
ReplyDeleteCan I get Member Level: Platinum if I promise not to punch you in the face?
ReplyDeleteFor a mere $50 surcharge, I will sell you punching rights.
DeleteObviously, these are the per-session rates, right?
ReplyDelete;)
Yes exactly and you can collect your shill check next Tuesday.
DeleteSince your campaign is turning into a Baccarat room, I have to ask:
ReplyDeleteWhat about $5000, $10000, and $50000?
An extension of the existing "Buy $50/$100/$200 (etc.) of product, get re-rolls in your next game" rule found in some GW tourneys*, or of Diablo III's intended "buy game toys for REAL$$$!!!1!" model?
ReplyDeletePerfectly reasonable, an idea whose time has come. Only people too disgustingly poor and dilettantish to be playing your wonderful games could possibly object. ;)
Life is indeed too short to play games with the hoi polloi.
DeleteChris is selling Indulgences? REFORMATION NOW!
ReplyDeleteI am gunning to be the Anti-Pope of the OSR>
DeleteAre you gonna go full blown Renaissance pope?
DeleteI was wondering who these goofy looking toddlers were running around the Hill Cantons Lounge!
My next session will be run in Avignon.
DeleteFor far too long, players have been freeloading on GM goodwill and the occasional quid pro quo pizza. This is an idea whose time has come.
ReplyDeleteI'll wait for the price markdown on 3 February.
ReplyDeleteNo way, my corporate naming rights side racket will float the whole model. "Roll initiative, you've come smack dab up against a party of five Doritos.com Zombies."
Delete"Damn it, we fell into the Citigroup Covered Pit Trap again. I'll drink my Coca-Cola, Inc. Healing Potion to escape!"
DeleteMy characters will be covered head to to with logos like an Indy car.
All kidding aside, I think it's unfair for Poker players to kick into 'the pot', but a D&D group has no cash on the table.
ReplyDeleteIt can't be called gambling because it isn't a game of chance, after all...
Most people who show up to games I play in bring snacks or beer or whatever. But then again, I only play with my friends, so perhaps there's a difference when playing with random groups of people.
DeleteA shared pot used to purchase crap isn't a bad idea. Or are you talking specifically about gambling during a D&D game? In which case the DM would win every time, n'est-ce pas?
Snacks and other tributes are cool, but what about a 'pot' of cash? Who gets the pot? The best role player? The most heroic? The funniest hit (or miss)?
DeleteMaybe a role on a random chart to see what is the criteria for taking home the pot?
Just a thought...
You know, if you instituted a $100 pay-out, for every 1,000,000 in GP, turned in to the DM, that might make things interesting and increase the initial number of buy-ins for the game. :)
ReplyDelete[sits in the corner and enjoys his small packet of scorn.] [tries to enjoy.]
ReplyDeleteHireling services tonight will be brought to you by Academi.
ReplyDeleteNice try Chris but I see the scam:
ReplyDeletecolumn 3 isn't Stuff I Get, it's Stuff I Have To Make Up
meaning I'm paying YOU to play a Shared Narratvie Game?
Other way around, buddy.
Shhhhh, not in front of the marks.
Delete