The Robo-Dwarf, a LL and B/X Variant Class

With the bad taste of classic idiot mistake hanging in my mouth from this morning--canceling a save on an untitled OpenOffice doc containing my longish post of the day—I am officially giving myself leave to pursue my dead-serious idea for a variant class that sprung from my skull like a robo-Athena last night as I adventured in Castle Nicodemus.

Robo-Dwarves

Requirements: CON 9

Prime Requisite: CON

Hit Dice: 1d8

Maximum Level: 12

Strange tales are told in these hills of the appearance of squat adventurer-constructs from beyond the weird. Said to be made of equal parts living animate stone, whirling mechanical gears, and living tissue, these so-called Robo-Dwarves are the freakish creation of an irresponsible higher power. Some blame the baleful White God, others an extra-dimensional ur-dwarf called Xhom. It matters little.

Though fleshy in feel, their skin is composed of a dull greyish-silver matter (natural armor of AC 8 if not wearing any other armor) and their eyes an unsettling black with no iris. There hair is always a greasy, lanky black and exudes an odor vaguely reminiscent of fresh primrose. Beards are always on the patchy short side with pencil-thin mustaches.

Robo-dwarves always speak in a halting monotone that makes vague references to “The Future”. They can speak their own tongue (Xho), common, dwarvish, and a halting pidgin tongue with living statues, gelatinous cubes, lurkers above, piercers, gas spores, rot grubs, rust monsters and other “dick” monsters. When angered in conversation, small black wisps of brimstone-smelling smoke issue from their ears.

Robo-dwarves consume no organic food, no water or distilled spirits—with the inexplicable exception of herd-animal milk which seems to have an intoxicating effect on their constitution. Indeed organic food and water consumption is so toxic to their system that if forced to do so they must save vs. poison in order to prevent themselves from imploding. For sustenance they must consume one flask of lamp oil every third day and are fond of snacking on gravel and small bits of rusted metal.

Robo-dwarves have a deep set and perhaps unwholesome attachment to metal armor, especially that with outlandishly fluted and raised flourishes. They are banned from wearing leather or other armor composed mostly of organic matter and will prefer to go buck naked (they have no naughties) if they can not find and use metal armor. Though they greatly prefer helmets with large protruding spikes they will make do with unadorned helms in a pinch.

Robo-dwarves share the same special abilities and disadvantages as their full-fleshed counterparts. They see in the dark with their Robotronic eyes at 60 feet and have a 2 in 6 chance of noticing weak spots in stone work, traps, false walls, hidden construction, or subtle slopes. The Robo-dwarf must lay his hands on stonework in the general vicinity and use his special stonepathy mental powers to “commune with the rock” for this to happen.

Robo-Dwarf Level Progression
Experience	Level	Hit Dice (1d8)
0	1	1
2,251	2	2
4,501	3	3
9,001	4	4
18,001	5	5
36,001	6	6
80,001	7	7
160,001	8	8
310,001	9	9
450,001	10	+3 hp only *
600,001	11	+6 hp only *
750,001	12	+9 hp only *
*Hit point modifiers from constitution are ignored