Patchwall 1, 576
Sweet
screamin' Yeenohu, graduated from the Rel Astra School of Hermetic
Iridology today! Drank a whole case of Velunian brandy and ate a cold
fowl with the guys before our silver ran out. Lucky I sobered up
before the sun went down, because man does the city get all kinds of cuh-razy what with all
the slovenly trulls, press gangs, spectres, and were-tigers running
around.
Patchwall 2, 576
Should have listened to my mom about
remaining 0-level, because now I just have this crappy degree and normal man status to my name. With saves like this, what am I going to do?
Patchwall 18, 576
Should I change my name to an anagram?
Ready'reat 5, 576
Career path here I come. I was milling
around the Old Quarter when a buff man in ring mail carrying a
glaive-guisarme picked me out of the crowd and told me I was just the
kind of dude he needed for his band of 20-200 “reclamation
experts”. He assured me that his band was strictly neutral and that
they didn't go in for that “chaotic evil brigandry kind of stuff”
so I said “fuck yeah.”
He told me I need to bundle up my gear
and hump it as they needed to get out pdq on account of the great
need for normal men in the Inhabited And/or Patrolled
Areas--especially those with Temperate and Sub-Tropical Conditions
and all.
Ready'reat 6, 576
Did I luck out signing up with these
guys. As I was shipping out I noticed a gang of crazy fuckers with
beards. I was desperate enough I would have joined them and today I'd
be running around barefoot screaming my head off with two weapons in
each hand instead of getting my nice shiny new suit of boiled
leather, light crossbow, and 2-8 gold pieces.
These dudes are a class act too. Not
only is the boss a Lord but his lieutenant is a Champion. Both of
them could fall 60 feet without dying! Sarge told me that we have a
one in four chance of being joined Enchanter, Warlock, or Sorcerer
too if we get lucky!
Fuck yeah!
Sunsebb 11, 576
Tough month, diary. It was cool when we
just sat around that informal camp and all, but we have been marching
up and down the countryside for like four weeks. That last patch of
Uninhabited/Wilderness Areas was totally off the chain!
Sarge says we're looking for a cave
complex with a secret entrance or a small castle, but I was like
“good luck”.
Fireseek 8, 577
I doubted it, but we found a totally
stupendous underground lair underneath this ruined abbey. This place
extends for miles and has like scythe traps, trapezoidal rooms, tons
of branching passages, and shit.
Sucks Dispater's hairy balls though
because Sarge has broken us up into small groups and we have to march
around the first level in ten-minute intervals. We can't even enter
the levels below.
Fireseek 11, 577
Those bullywugs we keep bumping into
are total dicks!
This post made me smile.
ReplyDeleteMe too :-)
ReplyDeleteMore please!
Love it.
ReplyDeleteThis was great. And Bullywugs are dicks.
ReplyDeleteWith their bulging eyes and smug attitudes, hate 'em.
DeleteLove the idly wondering about anagramizing names too.
ReplyDeleteHow long do you have to spend on dungeon patrol before you get another shot at wilderness, I wonder? I seem to remember Cook/Marsh saying wilderness started at level 3-5, which means if you get up to that HD total you're faced with a choice: go up to the open air or deeper underground.
ReplyDeleteI see those who choose the lower levels as something like career submariners.
and the anagram thing is genius. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Hard Icy Rug!
Delete