Friday, April 1, 2011

Top Five Worst Old School Gaming Blogs

Actual photo from the Happy Whisk
Time again for another High Fidelity top five list. Having felt entirely too positive last month, I will be switching back to the negative default setting of my Czech genes. After all, an optimist is just someone who thinks things can't get worst.

As I noted in my recent call-to-arms on writing more rigorous reviews, without more straight-shooting critique in our hobby we are finished. So with no further ado, the worst blogs of our hobby in today's Hall of Shame.

5. Underdark Gazette. What this blog comes down to is just a bottom-feeding info-dump. Hello? Like we can't be bothered to comb the Internet to read about the handful of vanity projects that happened over the last month in this so-called renaissance. The Hot Elf Chick lemming fad that James started had to be one of the lowest recent points in the OSR—literally responsible for chasing away the female half of my tabletop players group.

4. Lord of the Green Dragons. This guy claims that he knows more about how D&D came into being, what the intentions were, etc. etc. than us Gen X bloggers. Can you believe the arrogance? Particularly bad is the Cold Text series by Scottsz. Look, I went to graduate school, the last thing I need for my entertainment reading is posts documenting in minute detail the links of a second-rate tournament module to Meso-American culture fer chrissakes. To the dustbin of history with you...

3. Ostensible Cat. Leaving aside the whole pie thing and cross-dressing as a Elf Chick thing, this guy spends post after snooze-fest post talking about drawing, inking, and his dining room table no less (no joke). Man, just shut up and finish your commissions already.

2. Tie: Skull Crushing for Great Justice and Super Galactic Dreadnaughty. We play no favorites here in the HC. These two blogs rival each other in sheer wretchedness, thus we have a straight-up tie on our hands. The former with his juvenile nostalgia for playing D&D without any real comprehension of either the letter or the spirit of the rules as written; the latter for being the Rain Man of gaming blogs. Seriously, Desert Scribe, is it even possible that there is more to this hobby than a bunch of spaceship minis?

1. The Happy Whisk. Worst of the worst. Although Ivy Shorts technically doesn't run a gaming blog her husband, Tim of Gothridge Manor does, so close enough. Only read this blog if you have an extremely thick skin. One berating comment from the blogmaster here follows another--the snark overwhelms the tiny, fuzzy photos of...is that food?...so hard to tell with that graininess. Who would want to go anywhere near a dining table after reading this, no wonder Tim spends his time escaping into fantasy.

Honorable Mention: Ix . Please Lord, can't he just settle on one blog header picture?

[Editor's Note: Forgive me, dear reader, these omissions.]

Runner Up to Honorable Mention: Netherwerks. This would rank higher, however I couldn't figure out which of his many blogs to link to as worst.

Evil Beyond Measure: Porky's Expanse. 

45 comments:

  1. I LOVE A GOOD ROAST... DO SIMMONS...

    Better watch out... YDIS is going to sue you for copyright infringement... I hear those TSR Alumni can be pretty tough customers....

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  2. I'm laughing, and I hope they are too... If those blogs can be made to look like that, we need to trust ourselves all the more.

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  3. @Scottsz
    Dammit I knew I shouldn't have included my friend, the attorney, in this list.

    @Porky
    Laugh not Porkster, your site drips with such Eldritch Awfulness that I couldn't even bear typing out the URL.

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  4. I'm pissed I didn't top the list at #1. I will have to crank out much more vile crap to win next year's ratings.

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  5. Dear Cake Crusader: Worst of the Worst. I really enjoyed this. And while I've been given a good deal of blogger awards, I've never been named, Worst of the Worst.

    Great stuff. Seriously fun and, I enjoy feeling like part of the community. High honors indeed.

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  6. PS: Love the rotten peaches. I've given those away more than once for the Wonder Woman Quiz.

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  7. Yeah, I blog spaceships ... definitely spaceships. I'm an excellent blogger.

    Wait--did someone say "lawsuit"? Scottsz, let me give you my card. Brad, I think you can clearly show intentional infliction of emotional distress.

    I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it. -- Lionel Hutz, Esq.

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  8. The Happy Whisk has turned her withering gaze on my poor scribblings on occasion and I have often been reduced to tears, unable to return to the keyboard for days. Please somebody stop her...

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  9. @Brad
    I totally believe in your capacity to make #1 next year.

    @Happy Whisk
    De nada, an award you won fair and square for your tire-less (-some?) efforts.

    @Desert Scribe
    Oh look Wapner is on.

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  10. Hahahaaha, to The Cake Crusader and Flea. Rotten peaches for all!

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  11. This agression will not stand, man!!!11one!!eleven!! Let them eat pie!!

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  12. I am so hurt and betrayed by the fact that you ignored my pathetically narcissistic fanboy attempt to look like a real game designer while getting everyone else to do the editorial work and playtesting that I am having trouble typing or seeing the screen, so full am I with tearful rage . Bastard.

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  13. Doc
    Your efforts are so...2010.

    Don't you know that the Whisk is the new black?

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  14. @ckutalik: Whisk IS the new black... we need to start a new movement...

    It's the WSR !!!!!!!

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  15. Okay ... well now I'm totally going to bake a couple of cakes, along with that rotten peach pie. Cake and pie for all!

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  16. @ ckutalik - I did think twice before sticking my neck out. Should have been thrice. I'll make the best of it.

    @ Desert Scribe - Can I get a piece of that?

    @ Whisk - No more peaches!

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  17. I feel bad for forgetting to add runners up to my Honorable Mentions such as Netherwerks: because one blog is never enuff!

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  18. Cake Crusader: Why not go back and add Netherwerks. As you mentioned, my pictures are terribly grainy, and on more than on occasion, I've had to go back and add a new image.

    Porky: Haven't you eaten all those peaches yet?

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  19. @ Whisk - Getting there...

    * looking green around the gills *

    @ ckutalik - I've made the best of it. You are now officially endorsing the Expanse! Quote's in the sidebar. If you need an ambiguous put-down from me, I'm ready..!

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  20. I corrected both oversights in the post. Thanks (?)

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  21. @ ckutalik - Ha! So be it. I'll weigh that new one up...

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  22. Ckutalik: Very cool. By the way, I am blaming you for the reason I didn't finish that stupid sewing room today. Been so busy chatting, time just got away from me.

    Oh Porky: I'm so sorry to read that you're green around the gills. Sending you something not rotten or broken.

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  23. Does anyone else smell monkeys in here?

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  24. Hilarious list, saw a few of my current favorites getting the Roast treatment, and I'll be popping in to look at the rest.

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  25. I like Ix's ever-changing header! :-)

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  26. The pain, the pain, the....angst. I fear I shall need to write a WoD suppliment to adequately express my outrage.

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  27. This was great. But my god will everyone stop giving Whisk awards, even bad ones, she has 2354 in 4 months. For this award she called me at work to let me know. She is definitely not getting the Newbie Blogger award. No way no how. No matter how many desserts she gives me.

    And now she just smacked me!

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  28. Skull Crushing for Great Justice is one of my new favorites. He had me with the Mirror Universe Spock avatar. :)

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  29. So I'm like 5th place loser in a race to the bottom. Thanks.
    I'll try to change the header at ix more often and start posting Tsolyáni recipes.

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  30. Drune: That's funny.

    James: He had me with Spock, as well. Love Spock.

    Cake: This was a great deal of fun.

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  31. @Drune
    While we are here, why the hell did you pick a name that reminds me of Jane Palmer everytime I read your blog? And why do we have to keep using an article before it? (Czech has no articles, thus making a ton more sense).

    I do look forward to the recipes. In return I promise not to blog about my recent attempt to make--and drink--Chumetl (quart of chilled buttermilk + chili powder + crushed red pepper = something not for polite company).

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  32. @Tim
    "And now she just smacked me!"

    Enjoy your anniversary, dude.

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  33. What? That?? That was a little love tap.

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  34. @ NetherWerks - It's not me - just a plain ol' piggy. I've heard the Shen are massing. There's talk of blogs and the like...

    @ Whisk - That could be the future. Turn the tap and the love comes flowing out. Water, electricity, cable TV and love is all you need.

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  35. It's the 3rd of August and I'm still getting hits from this post. Amazing.

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