Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Kezmarok, Counting Houses, and Amazon Battle-Barges: Recent News from the Hill Cantons

 And now the news from the Hill Cantons…

The great half-ruined southern metropolis of Kezmarok is back in the shouted news of Cantonal town criers with recent developments. Not only is the lost lower half of the city back from its sojourn in a fell pocket dimension, but the eternal host of Turko-Fey is back at the gates and resuming the long half-millennium siege of the city–though from more distant positions. Contracts are once again being offered for “bonders”, paid rough men of the Hill Cantons.  

But bonders are also not the only ones in demand for immediate employment, the Zem-renowned great hostel Duke Mraz’s Folly, is seeking ruffians, hedge mages, procurement specialists and other so-called adventurers to clearing out the “Back of the House” of Tihomir’s Great and Evermore Abalienation, its satellite location on the Isle of Foosz. Applicants should be warned that Zdenko the Scarificator, hostel chain domo/manager, is “no casual tavern thug roustabout but is paying detail-oriented attention to the large walled off section in the “more secluded” regions of the large structure.  Advance payment will be made to the order of two pounds of hruz hruz (Duke Mraz’s premium hallucinogenic mollusk paste). 

Back in Marlinko, the newly-rebuilt Golden Counting House is back in business after a horrific and tragic fire that swept Svako’s Square in the Mendacious Mercator contrada three years ago. Usual night hours of service are naturally to be observed. 

Hisfytla the newly-crowned queen of the Amazons (western branch) is holding a lavish contest in which outlanders are invited to captain large combat barges “long-term leased” from the Eld in a battle of wits and valor. Qualified contestants will be supplied with a barge and crew of male-helots. The winners are promised a 2,500 silver “balsaccs” (extremely-large Amazonian coins worth 5 of your masculine tainted gold suns) and magical accouterments worthy of your ranked status. Losers will be granted special lifetime entry-level positions in the Regal Torture-Harem. 

Long live the Vy-Queen!

Monday, January 9, 2023

News from the Hill Cantons, Both Real and Fictional

A quick update on my personal Ahabic project, the Slumbering Ursine Dunes Omnibus, TLDR version: the alpha version is going to be released today exclusively for my long-suffering Patreon backers, Hill Cantons players, and the usual frauds/ne'er do wells/vagabonds I associate with.  (Never fear the print version and final PDF in its full Bilibin-ish, Lukaesque, Kalinite glory will be coming in a few months when Radegast permits the crowdsourcing to begin). 

It lacks some art in the design holes but this is essentially its final form content wise and will be more or less what one sees when the hardback edition (and it will be in glorious high quality because that's what I want for myself selfishly).  It's wild to think that the entire Slumbering Ursine Dunes series kicked off with a modest wee kickstarter in 2015 will finally be coming to an end point. I never expected to see a few, too easily promised stretch goals launch five books of material but here we are. 

And guess what? I am actually running the Hill Cantons campaign again after a few years of the players being lost in eternal slumber deep inside Revoca Canton's infamous mesa (ruled by of course The Wizard of the Mesa). I have a whole new notebook of material burning a hole in my bookshelf and in need of playtest so hmu if you are a long time reader and always wanted to play online in said campaign. 

And now the real news of the Hill Cantons...

Yesterday's bi-lunar eclipse has caused quite a commotion in the cantons. Vast shadowy winged metallic beings were seen by some winging their way along the porcelain dome of the heavens moments before, leaving some to wonder if the two disks had been stolen from their metal tracks. 

Boumila the Bountiless has returned from a far voyage on the stout if strangely-named caravel, the Flux of Doom. The crusty sea-lass spins wild tales of the land of Cockaigne where the plum brandy runs in streams, halushky grows on trees and where no dice are rolled for saves. She is hiring for her next voyage.