Ten Randos You'd Meet in the Wilds of Marlinko Canton

Can't stop, won't stop. More NPC free-association. Undoubtedly to be recycled soon in a product near you. 

#	Name	Description
1	Vyshemir the Bark-Cloaked	A grim-faced exile draped in stitched birch bark and vole pelts. Survives off fermented lichens and bone tea. Claims to remember the forest before it grew. Might be centuries old.
2	Klara Vrzalová, Witch of the Third Tree	Laughs like falling pinecones. Lives in a mossy stone chair by a grove of silver-furred trees. Will trade charms, potions, or secrets for awkward personal confessions.
3	Pan Drogomil of the Hollow Helm	Rusted-out Nemec reiter touring the old border forts. Helmet permanently fused shut; speaks only through taps and groans.
4	Ján “the Dung-Sifter”	Lives atop a stilt-hut over a reeking bog. Tracks monsters by analyzing droppings. Cheerful and disgusting. Offers insightful monster lore with accompanying samples.
5	The Mulberry Sisters	Three masked women in embroidered shawls who travel the forest paths in quiet song. Offer aid, murder ballads, or hexes depending on your bearing. Possibly nymph spirits. Possibly just bored old spinsters.
6	Hrabal the Cucked	Feral poet and part-time bandit with antlers tied to his brow. Recites dream-epics at knife point. Carries a scroll of prophecy he claims he found in a bear’s stomach.
7	Granda Gura	Elderly shepherdess with 33 goats and a dog named Politics. The goats speak in unison when the moons align. Gura pretends she doesn’t notice.
8	Zali the Wind-Catcher	Thin and sunburnt woman who communes with the wind spirits atop the bluffs. Can forecast weather or deliver messages on the breeze. Might be possessed. Might like it that way.
9	Blazh the Deeply Untethered	Semi-nude mystic who floats six inches off the ground. Travels in unpredictable zig-zags. Occasionally offers cryptic advice in verse, then vomits blue flaming bile.
10	Toma and his Two-Headed Boar	Wandering swineherd with a cursed, intelligent two-headed boar named Clever-Crass. Claims to be tracking the "Invisible Hogs of the Latter State Hyperborean Age." The boar will correct his grammar.

Ten People You Would "Meet" in a Marlinko Bathhouse

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The Ten People You Would Meet in a Hill Cantons Prison

 Hello remember me, people? 

Insert the usual round of excuses about life, work, the difficulties of this period, etc. But hey I am writing again and finished writing up Revoca's Great Aviary--you know six years later--and in typical neuro-diverse way three other adventure sites that I have been running the family unit through (oh yes weekly Hill Cantons game has been a joy again). 

But hey just for chuckles here is a snippet of new content. 

10 NPCs Found in a Hill Cantons Prison

	Name	Description
1	Hort Kvášek, Also Known as the Blood-Pigeon	Former contrada mocker turned prison fixer. Smuggles messages via trained hissing roaches. Speaks only in rhyming prison slang and never explains it.
2	Lazlo of the Scabrous Tongue	Mountebank sentenced for impersonating an archpriest in a municipally unsanctioned long con. Claims he was mostly accurate. Offers unsolicited life advice and fake blessings.
3	Velmira of the Burning Fan	Political prisoner and leader of the banned Society of the Resplendent Breeze. Composes inflammatory poetry using lice ink and parchment made from fingernails. Charismatic and deadly serious.
4	Brother Hromek	Feral ex-monk of a Sunlord brotherhood imprisoned for illegal thaumaturgical animal baptisms. Whispers theological riddles in his sleep. Attracts rats.
5	Tereza "the Window"	Obsessed with escape. Has not succeeded, but has memorized every stone, guard schedule, and dream-port in the wing. Claims her nose can smell “structural weaknesses.”
6	Zeno of the Twelve Names	Believes he’s been 12 different people throughout his sentence. Each day, he is someone new—today, a minor fey noble; tomorrow, a retired sausage inspector. Surprisingly consistent combat skills.
7	Gül the Scarred	Stoic mercenary sentenced for refusing to pay a ransom fee. Keeps to himself unless offered a game of knucklebones or a decent philosophical debate. Covered in ceremonial dueling scars.
8	The Bogtrotter	Mysterious figure from the marshlands. Wears a mask made of stitched cattails and claims to be unjustly imprisoned for “swamp-related matters.” Might be a literal swamp spirit.
9	Old Jarka	Elderly matron jailed for punching a visiting satrap in the groin during a harvest parade. Claims to have no regrets. Fiercely respected among inmates and the prison kitchen staff.
10	Urosh the Complainer	Chronic kvetch and long-term inmate. No one remembers what he was originally jailed for. May in fact be the prison’s soul-bound spirit or simply very annoying. Hums obscure protest songs.

Sex-Crazed Falling Stars, Free Weather Magic, and Adventures: News of the Hill Cantons

Grandma Gaya, the Rav-Witch of High Kezmarok, seeks the stout of limb and humble of mind in the obtaining of fallen stars from an upcoming prophesied shower in the Field of Levic in Revoca Canton. Retrieval of said objects will fetch no less than 1500 gold suns a piece. Men of science, sages and savants know the objects called “shooting stars” by old wives to be in fact screeching, blazing celestial demons intent on sexual relations with recent widows and have issued a weather advisory for the coming weeks. Any suddenly emaciated women should be immediately treated by a white wizard. 

In other weather-related news Sadko, the renowned merchant-ministrel of Marlinko’s Mendacious Mercator contrada, is offering a two week course in hunch-weather cantrips and drudic enscorcellments. The first day is free, the second is merely 20 golds suns, and each day after is said to double in price. First day respondents born on a sunny day will be invited to learn and practice the Clear Skies ritual spell in which said lucky student will run through the moors naked shouting “be clear, be clear, like the day I was born.” Such an experience beyond the obvious lightening of mood on the first day is guaranteed a lifetime of magical prowess. 

The Zem-renowned great hostel Duke Mraz’s Folly, is seeking ruffians, hedge mages, procurement specialists and other so-called adventurers to clearing out the “Back of the House” of Tihomir’s Great and Evermore Abalienation, its satellite location on the Isle of Foosz. Applicants should be warned that Zdenko the Scarificator, hostel chain domo/manager, is “no casual tavern thug roustabout but is paying detail-oriented attention to the large walled off section in the “more secluded” regions of the large structure.  Advance payment will be made to the order of two pounds of hruz hruz (Duke Mraz’s premium hallucinogenic mollusk paste). 

Back in Marlinko, the newly-rebuilt Golden Counting House is back in business after a horrific and tragic fire that swept Svako’s Square in the Mendacious Mercator contrada three years ago. Usual night hours of service are naturally to be observed. 

The Great Hill Cantons 5e Experiment Begins: Marlinko Backgrounds

I still love the old ways, you can pry the increasingly deviant BX/OSE/LL subvariant of HC house system from my cold dead hands. But dammit has playing Baldurs Gate (purple-skinned Roy Kent being my own PC) got me at least wanting to experiment with a slimmed down, house ruled to death 5e as my next mini-campaign reboot of things Hill Cantons-y. 

So on that note, here is part 1 of Hill Cantons 5e Backgrounds starting with dear, dear Marlinko. A host of Marlinko Cantons backgrounds are next and they will be the usual mix of the weird and/or stupid. 

Marlinko Cantons Backgrounds

First and foremost a Marlinkan takes their identity from their contrada (even villagers in the Canton have their “team” in the city). All native Player Character Marlinkans thus must roll (or choose if one must) a contrada background before taking another background. The contrada background is in addition to a character’s standard background, but may also preclude some standard background choices.

From FDM: The four contradas do not reflect merely geographic or class divisions, but have deeply embedded cultural and psycho-geographical lives of their own. Each contrada organizes its own festivals, keeps its own histories, and pays fearful homage to the abstract-featured idol of its own unique “town god.” 

Each contrada also maintains its own contrada hall, a large, well-maintained, ceremonial gathering place where it keeps a collection of its own unique banners, ceremonial regalia, historical tapestries, mummies, and most importantly, the various trophies it has won in the single most important city-wide bi-annual event: the great chariot race that headlines the Ebon Horse Fair. Throughout the year, contrada trainers keep their chosen condemned convict-jockey revved up and ready for the Black Race. It is well that they do, for the losers are hanged while the winner earns a contrada trophy and freedom!

Roll d6

1-2 Svině (Golden Swine) Contrada

3 Soudce (Yare Domesman) Contrada

4-5 Obchodník (Mendacious Mercator) Contrada 

6 Včelar (Sullen Apiarian) Contrada

Svině (Golden Swine) Contrada

The northeastern ward, with its tusked, dolorous, golden boar's head banner on a field of teal, is by most accounts a benighted slum. It has two saving graces: 1. that most guilds and high offices maintain their halls in its precinct–if not their homes– (including the Rada's large council hall) and 2. that it holds the most trophies for Black Race wins. 

Skill Proficiencies: Deception or Sleight of Hand

Tool Proficiencies: Manual Labor

Languages: Svinish (contrada dialect/slang)

Equipment: Teal and gold contrada surcoat, simple, Jaunty Cap, Tiny amount of hruz paste. 

 

Forbidden Backgrounds: Noble

Soudce (Yare Domesman) Contrada

The southeastern quarter is (despite its rather dramatic banner displaying grotesquely fat red demonettes piloting finned sleds) a sleepy and mundane section of the city. The houses of quietly prosperous craftsmen and the shops of the middle ranks dominate the ward. 

Skill Proficiencies: Insight

Tool Proficiencies: One type of artisans tools

Languages: Soudci  (contrada dialect/slang)

Equipment: Grey and dull red contrada surcoat, burghers hat, set of workman’s tools

Forbidden Backgrounds: Anything vaguely criminal

Obchodník (Mendacious Mercator) Contrada 

The southwestern contrada of the city, with its great golden seal depicting a grasping human hand styled in mauve and silver, oversees most daily business in the city. The sprawling, bustling South Market with its countless booths and scams is the commercial heart of the center.

Skill Proficiencies: Deception or Persuasion 

Tool Proficiencies: Calligrapher's supplies, Cartographer's tools, or Navigator's Tools.

Languages: Obchod (contrada dialect/slang)

Equipment: Mauve and silver contrada surcoat, stack of blank contracts in vellum.

Forbidden Backgrounds: Charlatan, Mountebank, Huckster

Včelar (Sullen Apiarian) Contrada

The Northwestern Quarter, with its great yellow-and-black beehive and mopey deodand emblazoned banner, contains the greatest concentration of affluence and easy living in the city. The great painted-plastered town-manses of the wealthy dominate the coveted plaza and avenue fronts in this part of town. 

Despite its wealthy cast, the contrada has a deeply-ingrained inferiority complex--due in large part to its century-long losing streak in the Black Race. The loss has become a self-fulfilling prophesy in recent years, as convict-jockeys regularly commit suicide rather than serve out what they consider to be a foregone death sentence. Roving gangs of youths from respected families are quick to draw rapiers against any slight, as if to compensate for the wound to their civic honor. 

Skill Proficiencies: Persuasion or Intimidation

Tool Proficiencies: Gaming set

Languages: Vče (contrada dialect/slang)

Equipment: Black and gold contrada surcoat, codpiece, rapier, IOU from a commoner worth 1d4x10 gold suns.

Forbidden Backgrounds: Anything vaguely criminal or commercial. 

Kezmarok, Counting Houses, and Amazon Battle-Barges: Recent News from the Hill Cantons

 And now the news from the Hill Cantons…

The great half-ruined southern metropolis of Kezmarok is back in the shouted news of Cantonal town criers with recent developments. Not only is the lost lower half of the city back from its sojourn in a fell pocket dimension, but the eternal host of Turko-Fey is back at the gates and resuming the long half-millennium siege of the city–though from more distant positions. Contracts are once again being offered for “bonders”, paid rough men of the Hill Cantons.  

But bonders are also not the only ones in demand for immediate employment, the Zem-renowned great hostel Duke Mraz’s Folly, is seeking ruffians, hedge mages, procurement specialists and other so-called adventurers to clearing out the “Back of the House” of Tihomir’s Great and Evermore Abalienation, its satellite location on the Isle of Foosz. Applicants should be warned that Zdenko the Scarificator, hostel chain domo/manager, is “no casual tavern thug roustabout but is paying detail-oriented attention to the large walled off section in the “more secluded” regions of the large structure.  Advance payment will be made to the order of two pounds of hruz hruz (Duke Mraz’s premium hallucinogenic mollusk paste). 

Back in Marlinko, the newly-rebuilt Golden Counting House is back in business after a horrific and tragic fire that swept Svako’s Square in the Mendacious Mercator contrada three years ago. Usual night hours of service are naturally to be observed. 

Hisfytla the newly-crowned queen of the Amazons (western branch) is holding a lavish contest in which outlanders are invited to captain large combat barges “long-term leased” from the Eld in a battle of wits and valor. Qualified contestants will be supplied with a barge and crew of male-helots. The winners are promised a 2,500 silver “balsaccs” (extremely-large Amazonian coins worth 5 of your masculine tainted gold suns) and magical accouterments worthy of your ranked status. Losers will be granted special lifetime entry-level positions in the Regal Torture-Harem. 

Long live the Vy-Queen!