Thursday, October 27, 2011

Cosmic Secrets of the Hill Cantons Revealed

This will only make sense if you have read yesterday's post about campaign artifacts—and even then it may be a stretch. 

As always you must click to receive the embiggenation. 


  1. Sandboxverse vs. the Railroadverse... Thus what is considered by sages to the Positive Elemental Plane represents free will and true adventure, and the Negative Material Plane representes being railroaded by fate.

    Yes! I see! The undead... they aren't just drained of spirit, they are exhausted from being railroaded... they aren't monsters - they're lost characters!

    The Alien Plot Driven gods lie in wait, eager to cross the boundary and get their tentacles on the Material Girl hidden behind the Veil...

    "god of hosts, beer, and DMs" - priceless!

    Need to see the manuscript for the Bizarro Hill Cantons Boxed Set material!

    Is it difficult to map Nowhere? Does it have those fancy Ravenloft maps?

  2. It occurs to me that everything on that map (but especially Anti-World Turtle) is a good name for a band.

    Was that a conscious stylistic choice, or does your brain just work that way?

  3. @Scott, Master of Cold Texts
    I knew you would be the first to grasp the immensity of the revelation here.

    Just wait HC players when your 3.5 characters shamble out of the Marlankh charnel house wrecking havoc.

    Boxed set? Hell no, I am putting that setting up for monthly subscription.

    Sadly that's exactly how the wiring of my brain.

    If I had spent more time trying to learn more than two bass chords in high school and less time coming up with the hypothetical name of our outfit then I could have actually claimed to have been a musician. Alack alas.

    Personally I think I would name my band "Alien Plot-Driven Gods" or if we went big-hair 80s metal "White Ziggurat".

  4. I like the anti world turtle a lot, though I think it should be facing the other way so the turtles can bite each others' tails.

  5. @Zak
    That's just how those of us in the Material World perceive his facing.

    In (counter) reality the Anti-World Turtle is doing just what you say all Ouroboros-style and everything.

  6. @ck: Is it going to cost $100 to subscribe?

  7. @Scott
    I was thinking more Paizo then our paisano Alexis, but now that you mention it...

  8. At first I thought it was a Big Mac diagram. Interesting posts.

  9. I believe this school of cosmology is known as two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun-ism.

  10. Like Zak said... but I'd have the turtles chasing each other like the Yin-Yang tadpoles.

  11. @ckutalik: Instead of DDI, it's the Hill Cantons Insider!

    Does it include a limited edition turtle miniature? 'Cause I could be down with that...

    Printed maps of Nowhere?

  12. Uma was in serious need of a compass having joined the campaign a bit late, but being privy to the HC cosmic universe now feels like she consulted an oracle.

  13. No Anti-Material Girl? Or would that be Lady Ga-Ga.

    I don't wonder that making any entrepreneurial effort would incur that response, scottsz. Have you been making this joke on everyone's blog?

    And I agree. 'Bizarro Hill Cantons' has to be a pretentious Euro-pop all-chick group.