Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Hill Cantons Big Dumb Reincarnation Chart

Tuesday night saw a tragic turn in the FLAILSNAILS world when  Ba Chim, that hitherto long-surviving scamp of a New Hampshirean landknecht-dandy, was claimed by the bloodthirsty and capricious dice-gods who cruelly took his 12 hit point life by anti-climatically slipping from a rope on a routine climb just moments after the party slew the resident godling, Grandfather Tiger, in his gabled Feral Shore temple. 

But as Sarah Silverman once famously said “when life gives you AIDS, make lemonaids” (so terrible, sorry) and after a long debate by the (cheapskate) party around the various life-raising options, it was decided to pull the elf from the sun-deprived arms of the maidens under the Holy Oak in the Valley of Am'est and have the Willie Nelson-esque High Druid of Svat the Four-Faced reincarnate his foppish ass.

I am not ashamed to admit that I fully approved of subjecting a player to the mercy of that chart having had a history of frequent abuse of that chart back in the ye old hoary day of soulless AD&D elves. Watching those elf-heavy parties slowly morph into a motley crew of talking badgers, boars and gnolls was too priceless. With the surviving players going on about using the non-standard, goofy-ass critters I love to throw at them on a custom chart I knew I had to do it (also a good excuse to catalog all my custom monsters in a single post).
awww Hell...

Roll a d24
  1. Norker
  2. Grotmen
  3. Polymuf
  4. Qol
  5. Micronaut
  6. Grugach
  7. Ghost Minotaur
  8. Serpentwoman
  9. Kirbyesque Space God (in protean form)
Punchline: meet Ba Chim the Wereshark.